


Phone Call

by BendyDick



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: First Date, Fluffy, IM NOT GAY- yes you are John, M/M, Mycroft is all knowing and a protective big brother, Req fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 09:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BendyDick/pseuds/BendyDick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John seeks advice from Mycroft on how to deal with Sherlock. This advice isn't what he wants to hear but he goes through with it anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phone Call

“Hello John.” Mycroft voice said clearly from the other line, there was a slight giggle to it but that might have just been in John’s mind. “John?”

“Uh, yes, John here, I just-”

“Well spit it out man.”

“Sherlock is a peculiar man and he has been acting even more stange-”

Mycroft cut him off and again John could have sworn he heard laughter. “Has he brought you tea from the store and tried to make you breakfast, never let him cook you pasta, it may seem easy to you but it’s best if Sherlock stays away from it but the last time he cooked it he was only fourteen and very nervous. Still the bill for cleaning up the fire damage when he got distracted was-”

“Mycroft.”

“Right, right. He wants you to go out with him.”

There was a pause and John honestly couldn’t think. Sherlock was his friend, his best friend. Sure they shared the couch on movie nights and sometimes those movie nights ended with Sherlock wrapped around John’s body like some sort of lazy house cat but John certainly never led the man on. In fact he hadn’t even been sure the man had a sexual preference or even thought about that until Mycroft said that. He had simply been concerned that Sherlock had destroyed something of his and hadn’t told him, that or was running another one of his experiments. He couldn’t think of anything to say or do other than stare at the wall in front of him.

“John? John please don’t be like that. My brother takes a special type of person to attract him. I would be flattered.”

John stuttered, tripping over his thoughts and his emotions. “I-I just, I’m not gay. You know that.” He could almost see Mycroft placating smile through the pause he gave. “I like women, Sherlock is wonderful, a great friend but how do I… let him down nicely?”

“You don’t John Watson. Now I would suggest a nice dinner out, perhaps a movie? I have heard that’s the sort of thing couples do. Off to it then. I would hurry before he really tries to woo you.”

“Mycroft- Mycroft you don’t understand. I’m. Not. Gay!”

“My dear fellow, pardon me but I hope you will see how clearly you are mistaken. I have seen the way you look at my brother, I have seen the way he looks at you, perhaps you are not gay but you certainly love him. I would think your nights spent shamefully wanking to your imagination would have alerted you of this little fact a few months ago.”

“Are there cameras in my-”

“No, no. I only put cameras in the front room to keep a watch on Sherlock, had you expected my offer-”

“The answer is still sod off.”

“Fine, fine.” Mycroft all but hissed and John allowed himself a small smile. “My brother wasn’t the only one to inherit the gift of deduction. In fact, I can deduct from the sound of the floor boards creaking that Sherlock has already come up with another plan to seduce you. Goodbye John, and do remember if you hurt him, no one will find your body. Not even Sherlock.” The line went dead and John was left staring at his cellphone he barely knew how to work in slight terror.

True to Mycroft’s words there was a knock on John’s bedroom door and when he opened it he found Sherlock standing awkwardly with a box of chocolates. “A client dropped them by. I won’t eat them but I know you like chocolate. Take them.”

“A client didn’t drop those off.” John replied with a grin that grew when Sherlock’s eye browns furled in thought.

Sherlock stood completely still, light blue eyes darting across John’s room, eyeing the phone in his hand to every hair that changed position since he’d last seen his friend. “You have been talking to my brother. Why? He ruins everything!”

“Would you like to see a movie with me?” John asked after swallowing hard and weighing the options he had at hand. He did like Sherlock and he had spent more than one night rubbing out a hard on to the mental image of the mouth wrapping around him.

“Movies are boring.”

“A crime scene is not a date Sherlock.”

 

“What if there are candles?”

“We can go out to a movie or we can call your brother for more advice.”

“What movie were you thinking of?”

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at fluff, I suck at Johnlock, there is a reason I stick to my babies. I am sorry for wasting your time I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me and merry Christmas. <3


End file.
